In 1996, Tim and I moved from the upstate of South Carolina, the place where we grew up. Tim was offered a job in Nashville, Tennessee where his dad and other members of his family lived. We both welcomed the opportunity, but for me it meant leaving behind my family and, for both of us, our friends. We began our “church search” right away. Nashville TN is the place to be if you worship in a Church Of Christ. There’s one on every street corner. We visited a number of different churches, but never found a reason to visit more than once. I was not working, so I had no way to make friends. I was feeling an increasing sense of loneliness. I was talking to the wife of one of Tim’s coworkers at the office Christmas party about our efforts to find a church when she suggested we visit her church. We decided to visit Antioch Church of Christ the very next morning. Leisa told us where to find the Young Couples class. Right away we could tell that this place was different than any of the other churches we had visited. It felt like a family. Several couples talked to us and we were introduced to the whole class. They said that the saying in class was, after your 3rd visit, they considered you part of the family. One couple asked us out to lunch that very first Sunday. We never looked at another church and placed membership within a month. Antioch felt like home and I had finally found the family and friendship I had been craving.
This was a group of believers that was closer than any I’d ever been around. There was always some sort of social event going on and an annual marriage retreat. Over the years, we grew into the Young Families class as we all began having children together. We didn’t have as much time for social events, but we remained as close as ever. We helped each other move into bigger houses for our growing families. When I was on bed rest with both of my pregnancies, they brought me food and helped us finish our nursery. Older couples came in to teach parenting classes and mentor us. They became parent figures, especially to me since my family was several hours away. One of the best things about this group of people was their passion for prayer. In fact, our lessons in class were frequently shortened because of the desire to share both our hurts and our praises. We were the body of Christ described in Romans 12:15–“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn”. We helped each other through the good and the bad. They cheered for us when we announced pregnancies. On many occasions, we surrounded one of our own, laying hands on them while lifting them in prayer. This was done for Tim and I twice. Once when my sister was diagnosed with numerous blood clots and doctors were giving us little hope that she would survive, and again when we discovered that Pierce was autistic. If they couldn’t be there physically, they would pray with you over the phone. As a class, we experienced births, adoptions, promotions, divorce, job loss, military deployment, cancer and other life threatening illnesses, and death. From this group of people emerged the closest friends we had ever known. It’s where “the hens” were born. I just knew this was the church that would baptize my children, give them their high school Senior Ceremonies, host their weddings and our 50th wedding anniversary. This was the church that would perform my memorial service one day.
There’s a song about Nashville by the Indigo Girls with the line: “Your town is made for people passing through”. Some of our friends were called away by jobs or mission work. The faces would sometimes change, but the sense of family was always there. A couple of times, there were issues with church politics. We lost a few families to other churches, but our group still thrived. Most of us thought that even if we didn’t always see eye to eye, the family at Antioch was too precious to give up on. But in 2008, things changed for good. I don’t want to point fingers or assign blame, but I think it’s safe to say that the Antioch family was ripped apart. One by one, the families that I had loved for 12 years slowly began to leave.
I will address my feelings about this in another post. The purpose of today’s post was to illustrate a picture of the community that I once belonged to and perhaps help you to see what I’ve been mourning over this past year. I’m sorry this post has been such a downer and I promise they won’t all be this serious!
Well said Melissa! You just wrote down everything that I have been feeling for so long. It was nice to see it written down so honestly and concisely as you did. We will never again have what we had together at Antioch….it was such a special thing. It gave all of us "young couples" a great foundation to build our families on and to build friendships that will last a lifetime.
The family we loved and new at Antioch is still and will always be our family. I keep saying that you can never find that type of connection twice in a lifetime, but that connection was so special that it will always be with us. We built something that distance can't destroy. Now, we are just moving into a new season of life and searching for our new place. No matter how painful it is for all of us, we still have each other and God is still watching over all of us.