April 30, 2010
Random Acts Of Kindness
One of the things I worried about the most early on was that Pierce would be teased for being different. While we have had the occasional episode of Pierce being mistreated, I have been blessed to witness acts of kindness from kids and adults, friends and strangers. Pierce was accepted right away by his peers in Kindergarten. His teacher told me about how the children treated him while they were learning to read. Kids that age can be antsy and impatient, especially when someone is taking too long to read. These children were no different, until it became Pierce’s turn. No matter how long it took him, they became quiet and waited patiently for him to finish. There were a few kids (mostly girls 😉 ) that loved to help but had to be told not to help him quite so much. Bless their little hearts, they just wanted to take care of him! When Pierce was in 3rd grade, we felt that he was finally ready to participate in his first school program. He would be waving a long ribbon and singing a couple of songs and then playing the xylophone for a couple more songs. They put him next to a couple of his classmates. When he seemed to lose focus during the ribbon waving, the girl beside him would help him remember what it was he was supposed to be doing. And at the xylophone, a girl stood right behind him ready to help if Pierce needed her. From what I understand, several kids wanted to be the ones that got to help Pierce. I only heard of one bad incident in all five years of elementary school. Last year, a new student thought it would be funny to make Pierce kiss one of the girls in their class during gym. She rounded up a few more troublemakers to hold Pierce and this classmate and force them together. The rest of Pierce’s class was furious when they realized what was happening and immediately ran for help. I talked to the grandmother of the classmate that Pierce “kissed” the next day, and she told me that along with being embarrassed, Britney was really sad that Pierce had been treated so badly. On Pierce’s last day of elementary school last year, it seemed that every employee of the school knew him and were wishing him good luck for middle school. Even some parents that I didn’t know knew who Pierce was and were telling him to have a great summer. The love for him at that school was almost overwhelming.
Kids and adults at church are much the same way. At our new church, several kids almost always make an effort to greet Pierce and give him high fives in the hallway. I have heard more than one story of how amazed a Sunday school teacher is at how their class seems to rally around Pierce. I am so thankful for these teachers, but they tell me THEY are the ones receiving the blessing because of the chance to work with Pierce. A couple of my favorite stories happened at a church camp a few years ago. Every year, families from Antioch spend a week in June at Pickett State Park. We call it Antioch Church Encampment, or ACE. I was encouraged to go for the first time in 2004 when the kids were 6 and 3. Tim couldn’t get the time off of work, so I was a single mom for the week. All of the moms there offered me an extra hand whenever I needed one throughout the week. One little boy Pierce’s age took a special interest in him. He joined us for meal times and hikes and followed Pierce around. One day, he asked me why Pierce didn’t have his bike with him at camp like most of the other kids did. I explained that Pierce didn’t know how to ride a bike yet. My heart just melted when his face lit up and he exclaimed, “I’ll teach him how to ride my bike!”. It didn’t even occur to him what a challenge that would be. Of course, Pierce didn’t learn how to ride a bike that week, but this child wasn’t discouraged and continued to call Pierce “friend”. The craft for the week was rocket building. Most of the dads helped their kids, but I didn’t have a clue where to begin. One of the dads took Pierce’s kit and built the rocket for him, in addition to the one he was building for his family. Pierce and Reagan helped with the decorating. On the day of the launch, I don’t know who was more excited: Pierce or everyone else watching! A couple of dads helped him set it up. When it was launched, Pierce got more enthusiastic applause than anyone else that launched a rocket that day! Another dad helped him run through the field and find the rocket.
I guess the stories that move me the most involve the kindness of strangers. You expect your friends and family to show compassion, but the times you see this demonstrated by complete strangers is when you truly see the face of Christ. Some of you may have already read this story, as I posted it on Facebook last summer. It still moves me today, so I’m posting it again.
The kids and I decided to take in “Horton Hears A Who”, the free movie today, at Opry Mills. We got there early so that we could get seats. As usual, when something is free, the participants are plenty. They had not opened the doors to the theater yet, so there was a line along the wall. We ended up right in front of the entrance/exit to the mall. A day care group was a few feet ahead of us. One of the kids began to wail. If you’ve spent any time around Pierce, you know that the sound of a crying child really distresses him. Pierce began to cry and threw himself to the ground. I wrestled him up (not an easy task as he is 11 and now eye-to-eye with me) and offered him his earplugs. This worked for a few seconds, but the child continued to wail. When Pierce is in a stressful situation and is faced with the option of “fight or flight” he will ALWAYS choose “flight”. He realized, at about the same time I did, that we were right at the automatic doors. He decided to make a run for the parking lot. I grabbed the back of his shirt, and this threw him off-balance. He crashed into the mom (who was holding her small child) behind me. I was mortified! I apologized and braced myself for the condemning glare and stinging criticism that I knew was coming. Instead, she asked, with genuine concern, “Is he okay?”. I explained that Pierce is autistic and the noise was beginning to upset him. This mom says to me, “If you need to take him outside for a few minutes, I wouldn’t mind holding your place in line.” I was so touched, and graciously accepted her help. We stepped outside and began debating whether to stay or go. Pierce kept chanting “go home”, but when I asked if he wanted to see the movie, he said “yes”. Reagan clearly wanted to stay for the movie, but she understood how upset Pierce was. I offered to get the movie at Blockbuster if we had to leave, and she thought that was a great idea. I saw through the doors that the line was moving. Pierce was willing to try again, so we ran back inside. I looked for the mom holding our place in line, and saw about 4 people waving frantically to us. Two people in front of her, and one behind her were all looking for us and waving! They were nearly at the entrance to the theater. Another mom said as we ran up, “We were afraid you wouldn’t make it back in time!” We got to see the movie, and Pierce held up pretty well. We only needed one break in the middle when another child began to cry.
There are many other stories of blessings we have received; these are just a few. I hope that I’ve been able to give some insights into autism this month that have helped you gain some understanding. I’m enjoying the opportunity to share what I’ve learned over the years. Thanks for the feedback I’ve received. God bless you all!
Melissa,
We haven't met but I'm privileged to be one of Pierce's Sunday school teachers. I have to echo the blessing he has been for me and our class. The most wonderful thing I see is when we have a visitor to our class. They immediately take their cues from the other boys and just accept Pierce for Pierce.
I'm so glad I've gotten to know him.
Steve McGill
Thank you so much, Steve!