February 14, 2014
Letter To My 13-Year-Old Daughter
My dear Reagan,
Tomorrow, you become an official teenager. I’m excited for you, even if this moment is a little bittersweet. I look forward to seeing what the teen years hold for you, but it does make me a bit sad to know that our time together is growing shorter. I’ll try not to gush over you too much, but I want you to know just what an incredible person I think you are. While you are gorgeous on the outside, it is your personality and character that make me beam. The compassion and patience you have for your brother sometimes moves me to tears. You are kind and considerate of everyone’s feelings, and rarely do I hear you say an unkind word about anyone. You always seem so full of joy and and have such a positive attitude about life. You’re comfortable in your own skin, and not eager to change just to make people like you. I sometimes joke with people that you are your father’s child; you embody all of the same qualities that made me fall in love with him. Sometimes when I look at you, my heart is so full of love, I feel like my heart will burst and I have to catch my breath. I absolutely love this stage you are in. I cherish the fact that you still talk to me and your dad about the important (and silly) things in your life.
I’m not going to lie or sugar-coat things. While your teen years will be full of good times and fun, they will also be a challenge. You will be faced with dilemmas you’ve never had to deal with before. Friendships will have their ups and downs, and be full of drama at times. Your parents might drive you crazy (just know that it isn’t intentional). School will get tougher. You’ll be busier, and will need to learn how to prioritize. You’ll be interested in boys, and they’ll be interested in you, but teen “love” is tricky; you should expect to have your heart broken a time or two. You’re going to want to test boundaries and take risks (it’s the very nature of a teenager to rebel). You’ll make great decisions, but occasionally you’ll make some bad ones. Sometimes you’ll come out unscathed, but many times, you’ll get caught when you mess up. Maybe you’ve had glimpses of this as a kid, but as a teen, it will become more clear just how unfair life can be; how cruel people can be. People will try to steal your joy. Don’t let them. They’ll tell you to give up, or better yet, don’t even try, because you’ll only fail. People will try to define you. Believe in yourself, be true to yourself. Remember who you belong to…you are a daughter of the King. His voice is the only one that matters (well, maybe mom and dad a little…).
While much of this stage of your life scares me, that’s not what keeps me awake at night. My biggest fear is that I will be too critical, too overbearing, and push you away to the point you no longer feel you can talk to me. I know I have the potential to do this, and the thought of alienating you, terrifies me and breaks my heart. I need you to know that you will never screw up so badly that you can’t talk to me about it. Your teen angst will never be too trivial to share with me. Most of all, if you don’t feel comfortable talking to me or your dad whenever you have a problem, please talk to someone. I don’t EVER want you to feel that it’s better to face your problems alone. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak or look stupid; it’s one of the wisest decisions you can make. I may get frustrated with you at times, but I will never be disappointed in you. We all make mistakes. I’ve made some doozies in my time. I will do my best not to remind you of past mistakes, make you feel ashamed of yourself, or say “I told you so”. Understand that with mistakes, there will be consequences. However, I won’t think any less of you as a person or love you any less. I will ALWAYS be in your corner.
Love forever,
Mom
