2017 is nearly over, so it’s time to do what everyone does at the end of the year: Reflect on what I’ve accomplished, evaluate where I’ve been unsuccessful, and make a plan for next year. Every year, I make a list of goals, and every year, I fail at most of them. Three years ago, I made a goal that I actually managed to accomplish. I decided I needed to get healthy, and I lost a total of 35 pounds. Now, I have fallen off of the wagon a couple of times (the holidays completely wreck all sense of willpower) and put a few pounds back on, but I manage to shed them once I start eating healthy again and the Spring season at the garden center kicks my butt. This is one of those very few New Year’s Resolutions I consider a win.

This past year, I had a list of things I wanted to do. I failed to complete the majority of that list, as usual. BUT, the number one thing on my “need” list, written in all caps, was to FIND MY JOY. My first approach was taking on the Complaint-Free World challenge. That involved wearing a bracelet and switching it to the other wrist every time I complained about something/someone. The goal was to make it 21 days straight without moving the bracelet. I was not successful with this challenge. Like, didn’t even make it more than 2 days in a row. However, it did make me work harder to stop complaining. Through January, while the country seemed to be in a tailspin of despair (I can’t help thinking of a certain Hee-Haw sketch when I hear the words “gloom” or “despair”), I struggled to keep my head above water. One day, I thought about all of the small details that had cheered me up throughout the day. My mood seemed to improve. I decided I would practice writing down these little gems every day for a month. Thus, the Things That Made Me Happy Today project began in February. In 2017, I have journaled every day since February 1st. I’ve filled up two books, and part of another. I also found an article on bullet journaling about how to chart your mood daily. There was a handful of days that I forgot to document, so I had to go back and guess, but I have a color-coded chart for the entire year. This practice has dramatically changed how I perceive my day. It has helped me to let go of anger or frustration I felt about something that may have happened to me, and put it all into perspective when I list the positive things about my day. I’m more likely to consider the day “good” or “ok” instead of a total wash because of a couple of bad incidents. I’ve spent the day reading all of my happy lists from this year. Here’s my Top 20 Things That Made Me Happy in 2017. Of course, there were LOTS of other things that made my lists throughout the year, but these topics showed up the most consistently. They are listed in no particular order.  

There are things I wish I’d been able to add more often, and others I wish didn’t have as much prominence. I’ll be working to change that in 2018. 

Actions besides journaling that I took in an effort to find my joy:

• I dropped a couple of activities that were bringing me more stress than happiness.
• I found an alternate route home from work so that I avoid the interstate completely. That has made a WORLD of difference in my mood during the afternoon commute.  
• Tim and I made an effort to fit in a date night every week (usually Sunday nights). We also scheduled 3 weekend get-aways instead of taking one vacation for just the two of us. We aimed for 4, but it was a little too difficult with my work schedule.

Has the practice of journaling turned me into a 24/7 happy person? Absolutely not. There were still days that filled me with sorrow and angst in 2017. Trying to adjust to parenting an adult with autism and facing all of the uncertainty that comes with the territory has been difficult, to say the very least. Raising a teenager is lots of fun but also quite terrifying and, at times, aggravating. Cutting out some activities has given me more time at home with Tim and the kids, and that has been wonderful. In doing so, however, I now feel disconnected and isolated from friends and church family. Have I misled you on social media and painted a rosy picture? I certainly hope not, and I don’t believe I have. We’ve had some struggles this year, and I feel like I’ve been honest about that. If your perception of me and my family is that we are completely carefree, I apologize. I never want to sugar-coat a situation or deliver a false reality. On the other hand, there are NUMEROUS frustrations that I could’ve told you about and chose not to. I’ve seen these negative posts on social media, and, while they may allow the person posting to vent, it also whips their followers into a furious mob: “Yeah, I HATE that, too!!!” “If I were you, I’d have handled that with *insert with angry retort or violent reaction here*!!!” The poster may feel vindicated, but lots of their followers are angry, sometimes for no good reason. Instead, I tried (and many days I had to try harder than others) to share the positive in my life. I mainly wanted to stop myself from knee-jerk responses to those daily annoyances that happen to all of us. I am truly humbled by the comments I’ve gotten from so many of you. I’ve been told that my happy posts make YOU happy; that you look forward to seeing them on Facebook or Instagram. Those reactions are Things That Make Me Happy Today, too.

Some statements during a recent sermon have stuck with me: “We like to be around hopeful people. We want to be around people who stand for hope and possibility.” If you find your friend group shrinking, “What do you exude? What are you pouring into people? Joy? Encouragement? Hope?” Before I get comments about it, I’m obviously not talking to people that are struggling with a mental illness right now. Your brain is literally unable to see things in a positive light. Trust me, I know. For the rest of you out there, you can’t choose how you feel, but you CAN choose how you react. I love the quote, “Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate” (origin unknown). I am challenging you in your daily social media interactions, heck, even in your face-to-face interactions. Before you spew about the jerk that cut you off in traffic, or rant about the horrible customer service you just received, or tear down the latest celebrity that’s done something shocking, or whine about something frustrating that your spouse or kids did, or share that political meme as a way of shaming those who voted differently than you, pause for just a moment and think about what you are “pouring into people”. It is extremely hard to positively interact on social media all of the time. But I think we ALL can do a better job. Joy is choice. Negativity is choice. May we all choose wisely. I hope all of you will join me in my challenge to document the Things That Made Me Happy Today. I already have a new journal, one that has enough pages to last me all of 2018, and two new packs of colorful markers (also pictured is a new planner and an instructional book for a new hobby I want to try).

I am ridiculously happy about these new markers. They definitely made it onto a happy list. May you all have a very HAPPY New Year!