May 9, 2020
Obligatory Mother’s Day Post
I hate Mother’s Day. There. I said it. There’s this pressure to live up to expectations, either expressed or assumed. There’s guilt and shame if we don’t give the cards, gifts, and heaps of praise on social media society deems as appropriate. Someone is bound to be disappointed. For so many women, tomorrow will be a complicated day filled with a full range of emotions. I want you to know that I see you.
- Women who have lost their mothers and miss them desperately
- Women who want nothing more in this world than to be mothers themselves
- Women who are single and childless
- Women who have had to bury their children
- Women who are forced to share custody of their children with a difficult ex-spouse
- Women who are raising their children without a partner and without a supportive and encouraging community
- Women who want to spend more time at home with their children but can’t afford to reduce their hours or quit their jobs
- Women who have strained or broken relationships with their adult children
- Women (and men) who have strained or broken relationships with their own mothers
- Women (and men) whose faces are no longer recognized by the elderly mothers in their care
What I’m trying to say is this: Ladies, do what you want with this day. Celebrate or don’t, and tell guilt and shame to suck it. For me, I’ve always hated that Mother’s Day is celebrated on Sundays. Not so much now, but when we were a young family, all of the rushing around to get kids ready for church and then attempting to make it through the service with a kid that has autism, made Sundays one of the most stressful days of the week. More recently, I’ve had to work on Mother’s Day, because it’s spring and the nursery is at its peak of busyness. Tim and the kids make me feel loved and appreciated every day, so here’s my plan for tomorrow. I will send an email to my mother-in-law reiterating my usual messages of appreciation for her constant love, encouragement, and support over the years. I will be grateful for any praise, cards, or treats my family offers, but I won’t get my feelings hurt if I receive nothing. I will enjoy a quiet morning with coffee and a book before I need to be at work. I will bake myself an apricot nectar cake just because I want one. And I will take a break from social media.
I started to add my thoughts about the relationship between me and Reagan, but the post was getting a bit long. I’ll make that a separate entry.