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Winter Sabbatical 2023: Week 6

The weekend was gray, windy, and rainy. I’m happy to see the sun again today.  I’ve witnessed something glorious here this week. Even though it was gloomy and windy, I didn’t neglect my morning walks on the beach. On Saturday morning, I had my head down scanning for sea glass and trying to keep the wind out of my face. I heard people ahead so I looked up. They were staring into the sky. I saw an enormous rainbow arcing from one side of the beach out into the ocean. It was so huge, I couldn’t fit it all in the picture. I made a little video and posted it below.  Though the sky was filled with angry-looking rain clouds, there was just enough sunshine getting through to create something magical. Something that couldn’t exist without those rain clouds. It reminded me of a quote from the iconic Dolly Parton, “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!” I also thought of one of my favorite Kacey Musgraves songs, “Rainbow.” Since this is a little ol’ blog and I don’t have to pay Kacey to use her lyrics, I’ll share the chorus.

Well, the sky has finally opened

The rain and wind stopped blowin’

But you’re stuck out in the same ol’ storm again

You hold tight to your umbrella

Well, darlin’, I’m just tryin’ to tell ya

That there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head

That song was a lifeline for me in 2018 after my last diagnosis of clinical depression. In therapy, I told my counselor that I felt like I’d had a black cloud hanging over my head for most of my life. Even when things were good, I tried to brace for the day that cloud would inevitably open up and drown me. I still feel that way on occasion, especially during those dreary winter months. Kacey’s song is a reminder for me to stop walking with my head down, filled with trepidation over the disaster that could be. Instead, I should look up and open myself to the beauty that is.

Here’s the video; might need to open it in a new tab.

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That same Saturday, I went out to the balcony for my sunset picture. There aren’t many sights in this world more beautiful than the sun in a cloudless sky shimmering on the water as the ocean swallows it whole. As we lose the light and enter darkness, we are rewarded with beauty. I was worried there wouldn’t be much to see this evening with so many clouds in the sky. But just as it had that morning, the sun intended to prove me wrong. A break in the clouds allowed enough sunlight to shine through and turn the sky orange, pink, and purple. Yes, those sunsets in clear skies are glorious. But clouds are what make sunsets spectacular. Here in Chelem, those partly cloudy sunsets are the ones I appreciate most. And I am trying to embrace this truth: if we want those awesome sunsets and sunrises, we must endure the darkness in between. 

When I sat at the computer this morning, I felt I had nothing to say. This stream of thought suddenly became philosophical. See what the beach does to me?

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